Leadership Behaviors
8 Steps Leading Towards Successful Leadership Behavior
10 Reasons Why Friendliness Is Essential For Effective Leadership
We've often heard the phrase, "It's a dog-eat-dog world." The problem is that some leaders genuinely subscribe to this notion. They behave like the dominant dog in a pack, exerting control through fear and intimidation. While this natural instinct may ensure survival in the animal kingdom, when applied to the human realm of organizational dynamics, it can spell disaster.
Leadership modeled after the alpha dog can ultimately prove harmful to individuals, their organizations, and even the leaders themselves. To borrow another common metaphor, "That approach just won't work."
Ultimately, leaders have no greater responsibility than achieving outcomes, and I have been advocating for the best possible outcomes for over twenty years: "more results, faster, consistently." An alpha-male leader might bulldoze through people to achieve quicker results, but I argue that a completely different personality trait is necessary to sustain the "consistently" part of this goal. This trait isn't the authoritarian behavior displayed by numerous leaders; rather, it's something akin to friendliness.
Exhibiting a friendly demeanor as a leader involves steering clear of the alpha-dog approach. It means being gentle, kind, supportive, and polite in interactions, especially during moments of anger and tension—ESPECIALLY during such times. Here are 10 reasons why friendliness yields significantly better results than the alpha-dog approach.
(1) We Maintain Authority. Leaders who want to dominate others often misunderstand what true control entails. In reality, these leaders frequently lack control, as they're subject to their emotional outbursts and others' responses to these outbursts. In leadership, the most effective way to manage a situation and achieve excellent outcomes is to empower the people. Rather than imposing short-term restrictions, we should grant them freedom by focusing on the "long game." By encouraging their initiative and creativity and allowing them to make independent decisions, they will be under your "guidance" in more meaningful and efficient ways than an alpha-type leader could envision.
(2) People tend to react more openly and positively when greeted with kindness. People generally respond more openly and positively when they are met with kindness. This simple yet powerful gesture has a profound impact on human interactions. As beings inherently in pursuit of happiness, kindness acts as a remarkable tool to disseminate joy and contentment. It paves the way for more effective communication by nurturing connections with others in ways that anger, coercion, or intimidation simply cannot achieve. These meaningful connections form the bedrock from which exceptional outcomes are born.
Moreover, acts of kindness, whether small gestures like a warm smile or words of encouragement, or more significant actions such as helping someone in need, create ripples of positivity that extend far beyond the initial interaction. Research in psychology highlights that witnessing or experiencing acts of kindness increases the likelihood of individuals passing on kindness to others, creating a virtuous cycle of goodwill.
In essence, the transformative power of kindness lies in its ability to forge bonds and build trust, fostering environments where collaboration and innovation can thrive. Unlike fear or aggression, which may yield short-term compliance, kindness inspires genuine engagement and loyalty, leading to sustainable and outstanding results in both personal and communal spheres.
(3) We exemplify positive interactions, bringing the future into the now. Whether or not leaders realize it, their words and deeds are closely observed by those they guide. People have a natural tendency to emulate these words and actions; or if they disagree, to express and behave in contrary ways. By exuding warmth, leaders embody the means that are the ends in progress.
By consistently radiating positivity and warmth, leaders do more than just direct; they embody the principles and goals that are in the process of being achieved. This embodiment creates a living example of the ideals that the team or organization is striving towards. For instance, a leader who prioritizes open communication and transparency will inspire their team to engage in honest dialogue and foster an environment of trust. Research supports this, indicating that teams led by individuals who exemplify positive traits tend to exhibit higher morale and productivity. A Gallup study found that teams with engaged leaders can be up to 21% more productive compared to those without.
Ultimately, the ability of leaders to act as role models not only shapes the immediate work environment but also sets a precedent for future interactions and the overall culture within an organization. By consciously choosing to embody positive behaviors, leaders not only guide their teams towards success but also cultivate an atmosphere of continuous improvement and mutual respect.
(4) We focus on genuine concerns as relevant elements, rather than false issues like rage and coercion. Being amicable often helps illuminate matters, while intimidation, tied to fear, tends to obscure them. Intimidating figures frequently turn themselves and their oppressive methods into the main topic. However, the true matters of importance should be how we achieve outcomes, how we increase those outcomes, how we accelerate them, and how we continually achieve "more and faster." The fear they generate is akin to a temporary high from a drug, offering brief stimulation but leading to dependency and ultimately harming both the leader and the team.
(5) By embracing friendliness, we shape the agenda. The notion that "a strong offense is the best defense" holds true when it comes to being amiable. It's crucial to take the initiative with kindness, showcasing it even in tough situations where it might demand a courageous effort on your part. This approach allows you to set the tone for how people interact with each other in such scenarios. Naturally, your amiability won't sway everyone, particularly those intent on undermining your leadership regardless of your demeanor. However, much like creating firebreaks to prevent a forest blaze from spreading, friendliness can help stop discord from deeply infiltrating the organization.
(6) By enhancing the likelihood of gaining others' support for our mission, we recognize that true leadership doesn't compel anyone to act; rather, individuals choose to be inspired. Leaders who cultivate a positive atmosphere offer the greatest opportunity for individuals to decide to be engaged. As Abraham Lincoln wisely observed, to win someone over, you must first prove yourself to be a genuine ally. This forms a connection that appeals to their emotions, which ultimately leads to their rational mind. Once this bond is established, persuading them of the righteousness of your cause becomes much simpler, provided your cause is indeed just.
(7) As a leader, you'll inevitably face adversaries eager for confrontation. When you respond with a congenial demeanor, it can unsettle them in surprisingly positive ways. Additionally, your amiability can motivate others to rally to your defense against such opponents.
(8) When approached with amiability, everyone has the chance to succeed. Leaders who lack warmth may win individual battles but ultimately lose the larger conflict. They might force others to comply, but if this compliance stems from obligation rather than genuine belief and enthusiasm, the results of any success can feel hollow. Most individuals appreciate kindness—even when they disagree with or dislike the leader. Moreover, our cordiality can inspire those we engage with to introspect on their own nature, which is essential for them to choose to be genuinely motivated. In a climate of goodwill, every participant has the potential to accomplish something beneficial.
(9) Friendliness acts as a safeguard against the destruction of relationships you've left behind. Someone who appears to be your adversary today might become a valuable ally in future endeavors. By fostering amicable connections, we can establish meaningful interactions with those who currently oppose us, ultimately enhancing both our present and future experiences.
(10) Achieving results through amiability often requires significantly less effort than relying on force or intimidation. While being pleasant isn't absolutely essential for effective leadership, I've encountered outstanding leaders who were rather grumpy. However, those who lack friendliness typically face more challenges in motivating others.
While there are two important considerations, one is that being amiable can be mistaken for frailty. In reality, friendliness may indeed be a vulnerability when it serves as a means to sidestep pushing individuals to tackle tough challenges for remarkable outcomes. In leadership roles, being approachable has a distinct purpose: to help people realize continually better results. This involves urging individuals to undertake tasks they might prefer to avoid. Anyone can be pleasant and let others proceed as they wish, but a true leader must persistently encourage people to strive intensely for exceptional achievements. If being friendly does not aid you in achieving this goal, it becomes merely a personal preference rather than an effective leadership strategy, and ultimately, within the context of leadership, it is a shortcoming.
While you might employ it as an effective leadership strategy, it's not feasible to always maintain a friendly demeanor. Attempting to do so can lead to a superficial leadership style. One of the greatest challenges for any leader is to remain authentic, particularly when under stress. Trying to artificially impose friendliness in situations where it doesn't naturally emerge, or using it as a tool to sway others into complying with your desires, is not the most effective application of amiability in leadership.
In a world where competition can be fierce, advancing through the path of kindness allows leaders to enrich their lives and the world with instances of beauty and significance—while also achieving greater outcomes in the process.
8 Steps Leading Towards Successful Leadership Behavior
Leadership Behaviors: A significant part of success in life is the ability to lead. It is crucial that we not only are able to lead others, but be willing to lead ourselves. No one succeeds in life by simply following others. Sometimes we simply must strike a bold new path for ourselves. Being a good leader is more than simply being at the forefront of the crowd. A leader must act.
Too often we simply accept that someone looks or sounds like a leader and rarely do we actually look at the actions that leader performs -- and that is the true test of leadership. However, in order to become good leaders ourselves, we need to concentrate on actions rather than simple appearances. The title of this article refers to eight steps, but do not think of these as progressive steps like so many recipes or instruction manuals describe. Instead, think of these as actions that you must take on a regular basis. First, be alert to new potentials. "Reality" is not absolute but rather subject to constant change.
Think about inventors, explorers, and agents of social change who have achieved greatness. Some might simply say that certain people are successful because they are lucky to be in the right place at the right time. Maybe so, but if they hadn't had their eyes open for the opportunity,then it wouldn't have mattered if they were in the right place. Second, accept inspiration from wherever it comes; even your opponents. The wisest leaders constantly study their competition.
In war, politics, and business we constantly see examples of this research and reconnaissance. Too many times though, many concentrate on finding a weakness to exploit. If you want to a be a leader of positive change, don't fall victim to this trend. Instead, if you find a weakness, make sure to avoid that pitfall yourself. If you find the strength then find a way to strengthen your own qualities to match.
Third, learn something new and promote in new ways every day. This means you must continually seek to expand your horizons, internally and externally. Feed your mind with new lessons and knowledge, but constantly expand your social horizons as well. Seek out and meet new people and immerse yourself in new social situations. You never know when these new experiences will help you in your leadership role. Fourth, search for and find answers in subtle clues. Look beneath the surface and constantly question.
This is an extension of the third step in that you are seeking new knowledge. But this also means that you will need to step off the traditional paths of knowledge. Don't simply read books in the literary canon or the bestsellers list. Take seminars rather than classes as there is more room for questioning and debate. Seek out the unconventional thinkers, teachers, and writers. Fifth, improvise if no existing solutions are available. No excuses. Necessity is the mother of invention. How do you know it won't work if you've never tried it before?
Remember, not all approaches need to come from the front. Look at your problem from all sides and systematically attempt different solutions in various combinations. Six, make at least one person you care about happy every day. If you make it a point to be thoughtful and caring for one person every day then soon this thoughtful, caring behavior will become a habit and that habit will spread to others around you.
Making someone else happy also feeds your own personal happiness. Just imagine how much better the world would be if we all did a little bit more to spread happiness. Seven, offer help, even if there's no apparent advantage to you. This means more than writing a check. It means giving of your time and energy and yourself.
Sometimes it will mean helping someone you don't know and sometimes it can be a very personal action. Finally, never let negativity be your last word on the subject. If your final words are negative then no matter how hopeful you may be about the potential of a project or action the lasting impression you give to others is one of negativity. Accentuate the positive and you are more likely to see a positive outcome. If you follow these eight action steps not only will you be a better leader but also lead yourself to a more successful life.
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